


The Wedding of Clint Barton and Phil Coulson

by Moonrose91



Series: The Story of How Phil Coulson Married Clint Barton as told by Clint Barton [3]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonrose91/pseuds/Moonrose91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day Clint proposed and got a 'yes' was the day Nick Fury's <em>true</em> headaches began.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Excerpt from Phil Coulson

The day after Clint proposed to Phil, Phil knew what he had to do.

He wasn’t entirely looking forward to it, as it would mean piles of paperwork, but he had to do it. Besides, he needed to insure that Fury knew, for a fact, the marital shifts that would be happening within his organization. Well, that, and Phil knew exactly which forms to fill out and how to have Fury bellowing for him within the hour they were sent off to Fury, in triplicate.

Phil smiled, internally, as he focused on his work, trying to get as much done as he could after he had sent off the paperwork to Fury. An hour later, Maria strode in, looking ready to wring him apart and then murder every little scrap of his being before resurrecting him to do it all over again. “Director Fury wants you,” she stated, and Phil nodded, standing up calmly. He followed her quietly and she glowered at him.

“What did you do?” she demanded.

“Whatever do you mean?” Phil answered.

“You look smug,” she stated.

“I always look this way. Agent Hill, are you feeling quite well?” Phil answered.

She growled unsavory things about him under her breath, though cut herself off and quickly composed herself as they entered a common area. Phil shifted his body language slightly and internally smirked as he watched eyes, highly trained eyes, slide right past him, already deciding that he was inconsequential.

Thank God he wasn’t one of the bad guys, or he could have killed them all in their sleep. He noticed that some watched him curiously and he mentally marked them in his mind for further ‘testing.’

He still had that ill-fitting suit. He loved that ill-fitting suit, as it seemed to make him even more unnoticeable. He shifted his strides and easily kept up with Maria. They both stepped into the elevator and it closed. “Okay, I’ve calmed down. What did you do?” she questioned and he gave her a small smile.

“I filed a change of marital status form,” he explained.

At first, she looked confused and then she smiled at him. “Congratulations. Who proposed?” she questioned.

“He did. There’s no ring, but it isn’t like I could wear one anyway. Besides, he didn’t want to get me a plastic Captain America shield ring, which he felt was the only one that would fit,” Phil responded and she grinned.

“No wonder Fury looked like he was going to have a heart attack,” Maria responded.

“Quite,” Phil answered.

They both composed themselves as the elevator dinged and they stepped off, heading for Fury’s office, the bustle of high profile agents surrounding them until they stepped into Fury’s office. “What the hell?” Fury demanded and Phil raised an eyebrow.

“I am just following procedure sir. And procedure states that any time the marital status of an agent changes, they must file the form, in triplicate. An agent at my level needs to send it to the Director of SHIELD which is you, sir,” Phil answered.

“You and Barton _eloped_?” Fury demanded.

Phil stared at him blankly. “No, Director, we did not. Clint wanted to, but I managed to convince him it would be a bad idea. No, this is just to stave off the paperwork later, while we are on our mission slash honeymoon,” he answered and Fury glared at him.

He then tilted his head to the side and added, “However, that reminds me, I need to ask a favor of you.”

Fury glared. “Why should I grant you _any_ favors?” he asked.

“Well, there aren’t many places we can get married and I would rather _not_ have this on any obvious public record, and in international waters, weddings can be performed by the captain. Thus, I was wondering, and realize that I had to bribe Clint extraneously to even think of asking this, however I was wondering if you would do me the favor of officiating our wedding,” Phil responded.

Both Fury and Maria were staring at him shock. “You…you want me to officiate the wedding?” Fury asked.

“Yes Nick, I do. Besides, you still have to give the shovel talk to my fiancée. It is your duty as best friend,” Phil responded with a smile and Maria stared.

Phil looked over at her and answered, “You’re invited Maria.”

She just nodded and Nick stared at him before he smiled. “I’d be honored to officiate your wedding,” he answered.

“Clint is going to be so disappointed. He wanted to go to an Elvis chapel in Vegas. Well, we can go do that after. We’ll probably have to pretend we are drunk and see if any chapel _will_ marry us,” Phil responded.

Fury laughed at that and Phil smiled before he gave a quick nod in good bye, leaving shortly after.

Now, to go find his wayward fiancée.


	2. A Shovel Talk and a Wedding

Clint stared at his reflection.

 _Why_ did Phil say 'yes' again?

He was dressed in a casualish outfit (aka a suit without a tie and the jacket undone because this was as fancy as he was getting, True Love or not, he was not dressing up in a fancy suit), when he heard a knock on the door. He turned around, confused, and called, "It's open."

His heart nearly stopped as Fury entered, all imposiing figure and harsh eye. "You are going to sit and you are going to be quiet, understand?" Fury demanded and Clint nodded, sitting quickly on the chair.

"Good. You ever break Phil's heart,  _no one_ will find the body. They won't even look for one. The empty casket funeral will be heartbreaking, Phil will weep for you, and  _no one will look for you_. You will be dead to the world. And during that time, I will make you beg for death, do you understand me?" Fury stated and Clint nodded, realizing that Fury was acutely describing a fate worse then death, and Clint answered, "I ever break Phil's heart, I'll submit to it."

And then Fury smiled.

"Good. I don't think you will, for the record, but I need to do my duty as best friend and threaten you with a fate worse then death. If I had even the slightest doubt you would hurt Phil, you would join the man who manipulated Phil when he was an asset," Fury answered.

Clint stared at him. "Did he scream or did you remove the vocal cords first?" Clint asked and Fury smiled.

"Why Barton, whatever makes you think I was that kind?" Fury answered and Clint smiled back, knowing it was vicious, dark, and cold.

And Fury nodded a bit.

Clint had a feeling he passed some secret test of some sort.

* * *

Clint stood in the groom’s spot, while Phil stood in the bride’s spot, Fury standing in front of them. There were some agents, mostly Junior Agents who were staring up at the proceedings with wide eyes.

They were, naturally, sitting on Phil’s side, because they were his.

“We are gathered here today to marry these two upstanding agents in matrimony. I won’t call it holy, because this isn’t a church, and I’m not a priest, thank God. I was asked, for some unknown reason, to marry these two once we got to international waters. As we crossed over that line approximately two minutes ago, I will now officially begin the ceremony. We will skip to the vows, because the part that matters is the objection parts, which any-fucking-one stands up to object, I will _personally_ throw you overboard and come back for you after the reception, possibly. Is that understood?” Fury threatened.

There were nods throughout the room while Phil just seemed to barely resist heaving a sigh of regret over having Fury officiate the wedding.

“Let’s get started then. Now, do you, Phillip James Coulson, so solemnly swear to love, cherish, and honor Clint Francis Barton in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, through all his crazy ass schemes and beyond, till death do you part?” Fury questioned.

Phil is smiling at Clint and he’s staring back, realizing that Phil is so very, very, handsome in this setting, really, he is anywhere, and his voice is soft and commanding, “I do.”

“Good, because we’d have problems if that was an ‘I don’t.’ Now, do you, Clint Francis Barton, so solemnly swear to love, cherish and honor Phillip James Coulson through sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, and to make him actually go the fuck to sleep some days instead of staying over in the office to finish the paperwork he could foster off onto some other unsuspecting agent, but he insists on doing himself because he’s a perfectionist and beyond, till death do you part?” Fury questioned and Clint beams.

“I do,” he answered.

“Good. Now, may I have the rings?” he stated and Phil frowned.

“Nick, we told you…” Phil hissed lowly, glaring, and Fury grinned.

“Now, Phil, how could you say no to the Ducklings training?” he asked and Clint glanced at Phil, who glared.

“You used my ducklings to get our ring sizes?” he asked, even as Maria procured the ring box.

Fury is shameless and Clint has to admire him, while acknowledging that there is something behind the work façade he’s never seen with the Power Trio of SHIELD.

Hill and Fury and Coulson.

Clint smiles as they put the rings on each other’s hands and Clint drags him in for a kiss that would definitely not be appropriate for a church.

Good thing they weren’t married in one then.


End file.
